


Laughing til you cry: Angst vs Fluff Challenge - The Angst is Strong

by Farisya, inthedrift



Series: Pacific Rim Drabbles--Inspired by the Discord Server [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: A proud product of the Pacific Rim discord server, Angst vs. Fluff Challenge, I did fluff, I wrote all the angst, Lies., M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 18:15:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19156333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farisya/pseuds/Farisya, https://archiveofourown.org/users/inthedrift/pseuds/inthedrift
Summary: There's a list of angsty prompts going round the hellsite.@inthedrift cannot write angst to save her life so we challenged each other to write 10 of them. Except she swore she could make these angsty prompts fluffy.I on the other hand might as well be called Empress Edgelord, mistress of whump.





	1. Did You Ever Love Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these are going to be a hard T or a soft M. As it's me, you should be used to the violence and emotional trauma by now.
> 
> Chapter 1 is standard emotional trauma. Enjoy. :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Break ups are hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, it's angst.

Raleigh stared at Chuck as the younger man packed his things. This was it, they were done. He didn’t want to believe it. He knew it was the best thing for them, but it still _hurt._

“Did you ever love me?” Chuck whispered. Raleigh’s head snapped up from where he’d been intently studying his hands.

“What?” He asked incredulously.

Chuck cleared his throat and turned around. “Did you ever love me? Or was this whole, this whole _thing_ just your way of coping?”

Raleigh gaped at him. He came up with a million different responses, all of them more eloquent than what escaped him. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Chuck, never one to back down, took Raleigh’s outburst and crowded into his space. “No.”

He leaned over Raleigh, pinning him in the desk chair. “I am not fuckin kidding. This whole time you’ve treated me like I was part of your goddamned _treatment._ Like being in a relationship with me was proof you were working through your fuckin trauma.”

Snarling, Raleigh shoved Chuck off him and stood up to point a finger in his face. _“My trauma?_ What about yours? You and Herc barely speak and both of you pull me into the middle every single time you fight. If not me then Mako. You almost _died,_ Chuck. I know the two of you had your big goodbye. But _I didn’t._ My whole family is fucking dead and it just hurts watching you push yours away.”

Chuck flinched, but still didn’t back down. “Herc and I are _not_ you and Yancy.”

“I know that!” Raleigh shouted. “But he was all I had and I would give anything to have him back. _Anything.”_

They stared at each other for a long moment, both breathing hard. Nearly a year in close quarters finally broke them of their fighting habit, but Raleigh knew they were teetering on the edge here. Chuck, surprisingly, slumped and ran his hands over his face.

“What is this, then? What are we?” He pushed Raleigh aside and collapsed into the desk chair.

Raleigh stared down at him, frozen. Chuck wouldn’t look at him, and Raleigh wanted nothing more than to see the fire back in those eyes. For all their problems in the last few weeks, Chuck never looked broken like he did now.

“What did you want us to be?” The words rushed out of him. Chuck looked up at him and Raleigh faltered. “You, uh, you came on hard, Chuck. Not that I’m complaining, but we never talked about what we expected from each other. This thing was just _easy._ And we just never _talked.”_

Chuck frowned. Raleigh waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. So he continued, “Neither of us is a poster child for healthy interpersonal relationships.”

“No fuckin kidding.” Chuck muttered, Raleigh smiled despite himself.

“Yeah,” He chuckled. “Well, it’s not like we had a lot of practice. So, be honest, what did you want when we started this?”

Finally, Chuck looked at him. “Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“You’re hot and I always wanted to fuck you. Caught you checking me out and realized I had a shot. Then we just—” 

He waved his hand around and Raleigh nodded. Like he said, it’d been easy between them, despite the arguments.

“And now?” Raleigh asked. Chuck clenched his jaw and stared defiantly up at Raleigh.

“Now? Ah, fuck, I don’t know. I’ve never done this. There wasn’t time.”

Raleigh sighed. “No. No there wasn’t for me either.”

Chuck nodded and leaned back. They sat silently again, both sorting through their thoughts. Raleigh finally made up his mind and took a step towards Chuck.

The younger man looked up, surprised, as Raleigh leaned forward to give him a kiss. He melted into it, pulling Raleigh forward and moaning when Raleigh reached up to cup his jaw. When they pulled apart, breathing heavily, Raleigh smiled sadly. “I did love you. I _do_ love you. But, this isn’t working.”

Chuck frowned, but didn’t look away. “No, it isn’t—” He trailed off and Raleigh used the opportunity to kiss him again. Chuck let it happen and then pushed him away. “Don’t do that. Don’t make this harder. I, I love you too. But we’re done.”

“For now,” Raleigh whispered against his lips as he kissed him one last time.

“Yeah, for now.”


	2. It's Nothing, Just a Bruise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for....death. 
> 
> Yeah. I did a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am tasked with angst...I deliver angst.

“What the _fuck_ is _that?”_ Raleigh whispered, pulling Chuck away from the waiting press.

“What?” Chuck griped as Raleigh shoved him into a side hallway. The older man stared at the very clear bruise on his neck. The _hand-shaped_ bruise. Chuck didn’t need a mirror to know what Raleigh was talking about. “It’s nothing, just a bruise.”

Raleigh frowned at him. “Just a bruise?”

“Yeah,” Chuck doubled down. “A bruise.”

“Who gave it to you?” Raleigh demanded. He froze a second later and leaned in close. _“I_ didn’t do that, did I?”

Chuck panicked. “No! No, this is from…No. This is, look, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Relaxing a little, as he realized Chuck definitely didn’t get hurt during their vigorous sex a few nights earlier, Raleigh zeroed back in on Chuck’s panicked face. He softened his tone a bit and let some of his worry show clearly. “Chuck, who did this to you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Tough shit. You should’ve done a better job hiding it, then. Just be glad it’s me asking and not Herc.”

Chuck flinched at the thought and Raleigh frowned. “It wasn’t Herc was it?”

“No! Fuck no! My dad is, we fight, but _never_ like that.”

“Then,” Raleigh sighed. “Chuck, someone hurt you. Please tell me what happened.”

He turned the puppy dog eyes on Chuck. The younger man frowned and turned his head, refusing to let the blue eyes work on him. Raleigh ramped it up a notch, crowding Chuck against the wall and reaching up to run a gentle hand over the mottled bruise on his throat.

Chuck froze. His breath hitched and Raleigh pulled back immediately, snarling. “What was that? Chuck, I’ve seen people act like that before. Who hurt you?”

Voices filtered down the hall and Chuck pulled Raleigh along toward the lift. It opened a moment later, releasing a flustered J-Tech. Chuck hauled Raleigh inside and punched the button for the residential floor.

Raleigh followed obediently as Chuck led them to his room. Once inside, he locked the door and gestured for Raleigh to sit at his desk.

“You couldn’t let it go, could ya?”

Resisting to look around Chuck’s room as he’d never been in it before, Raleigh kept his eyes on the panicking man. Chuck needed his full focus.

“Chuck, breathe.” He snapped. The younger man didn’t always respond to the soft touch. Chuck instantly stopped pacing to glare at Raleigh, but he did take a deep breath. “Good, sit down.”

He complied, collapsing onto the edge of his bed. Raleigh waited for his breathing to even out before reaching into the nearby mini-fridge for a Gatorade. He passed it to Chuck.   
“Drink this.”

“I’m not Mori. You don’t need to take care of me.” Chuck groused.

Raleigh raised his eyebrows and gestured at him. “All evidence to the contrary.”

Chuck flipped him off then took a swig of the horrendous green drink, everyone knew blue was better. He swallowed half the bottle before looking back at Raleigh. “Are we friends?”

“What?” Raleigh blinked hard. “What does that mean?”

“I need to know if I can trust you.”

“What have I done to make you think otherwise?”

Chuck huffed. “You’re the big bad American hero, mate. I don’t need a cowboy riding in to save my ass. So, before I tell you shit, I need to know you aren’t gonna flip out and run off to save the day.”

Raleigh digested the words, watching Chuck edge back towards panic as he stayed silent. The fear in Chuck’s eyes sealed his fate. “I won’t say or do anything unless you tell me to.”

Nodding, Chuck reached under his pillow and pulled out a torn and bloody sweater. He tossed it at Raleigh. “Herc already knows what happened, but since you’re a nosy bastard, I’ll tell you too.”

He stood up and lifted his t-shirt to reveal a horrifying collection of cuts and bruises. “I went out last night. I know I shouldn’t have gone alone, but I needed to get out of here.”

Raleigh shook his head, his hands tracing the holes in the blue fabric he knew so well. Chuck stole the sweater from him two nights previous as his t-shirt didn’t survive Raleigh ripping it off him. “Where did you go?”

“Boneslums,” Chuck answered and Raleigh’s frown deepened. “Yeah, yeah, I _know.”_

He lapsed into silence and Raleigh stood up slowly. He crossed over to the bed, dropping the sweater on the floor, and sat down next to Chuck. The younger man tensed for a moment then slumped against Raleigh.

“I was fine. Some of Chau’s guys found me and followed me around. They kept most people away. I wandered around, buying stuff from the stalls, ya know?” Raleigh nodded, all the Dome personnel went to the boneslums regularly to drop money and help rebuild the damage from Otachi and Leatherback. “Finally turned around. Chau’s guys took my bags and promised to get my stuff to the Dome since I didn’t have any room on the bike, and they left. Someone tackled me as I was putting on my jacket. I came to a minute later and some bloke was standing over me while another guy pulled off the jacket. I fought back.”

Chuck turned his head away, a frown etching deep into his face. Raleigh gently pulled one of his clenched fists into his lap, running fingers over the bruised knuckles. “Go on.”

“Bastard had a knife, he caught me across the chest. I threw everything I had at him. He,” Chuck swallowed heavily. “He wouldn’t go down. Finally managed to grab my helmet and I clobbered him with it until he stayed down.”

“You did good, Chuck.”

“No. No I didn’t. Forgot about the other one. Once the big bastard was down, he threw a bag over my head and held me down til I passed out. He dragged me down an alley and when I woke up he was getting ready to fuckin sacrifice me to the goddamned Kaiju. Kept babbling about how I killed the true gods and my death would bring them all back.”

Raleigh wrapped his hand tightly with Chuck’s, lacing their fingers together. The normally tough Aussie turned on him and Raleigh suddenly found himself on his back as Chuck cried quietly into his chest. He shifted enough to wrap his arms around Chuck and hold him close.

“How did you get loose?”

“Kicked him.” Chuck wiped tears from his face. “We wrestled round for a minute. He pinned me and—”

“And he tried to strangle you.”

“Yeah. I hit him over and over, but he wouldn’t let go. Saw the knife and I grabbed it.”

“You stabbed him.”

“I did.” Chuck whispered into Raleigh’s neck. “Chau’s guys found me when security said I wasn’t back yet. They called Herc. Found me with the knife in my hands still.”

“Why didn’t you call me? Or Mako?”

“I spent four hours in my shower cleaning blood off me. I didn’t want to see anyone. Even locked Herc out.”

Raleigh nodded and held him tighter. “You came back, Chuck. You survived and you came back. That’s all that matters.”


	3. You Were Supposed to Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My girl taking care of her boys....against their will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Mako is a good bro and the boys are a mess.

Mako looked down at her erstwhile best friend and sighed. She turned and left him to suffer a few minutes more as she hunted down Herc’s “secret” bottle of Macallan. It took longer than expected, the elder Hansen found a new hiding place. She found Chuck exactly as she left him, though.

Max looked up at her as she settled on the roof next to Chuck, licking her hand as he dropped his head back into his master’s lap. She poured a glass and set it next to Chuck’s hand.

“Where was it?” Chuck croaked after downing the scotch.

“Hidden inside your boot.”

“Not like I wear both of them anymore. He’s getting sneakier.”

Mako nodded and poured them another round. She sipped slowly this time and moved the bottle away when Chuck reached for it. “No.”

He huffed but acquiesced, leaning back against the concrete wall with a heavy sigh. “You were supposed to leave.”

She turned her head and waited for him to continue. He didn’t. Mako kept sipping her drink. Chuck never once beat her when it came to patience. Only the Kaiju gave him the focus needed to bide his time. Outside a conn-pod, he was an impulsive mess.

“He left,” Chuck finally whispered. “You were supposed to go, too.”

“Why?”

“Because everyone leaves me.”

Mako kicked his prosthetic leg, hard. “I sat at your side for eight months, Chuck.”

“So did he!” Mako raised her eyebrows at his outburst. “He stayed there with me and the second I’m out and moving, he bails.”

She downed her drink before pulling Chuck over until his head rested in her lap. “He had to leave.”

“Why,” Chuck growled. “I thought—”

“I did too. But he never healed, not really. He came back to die, Chuck-kun. Finding us, it wasn’t what he expected.”

“So he ran, _again.”_

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t go because?”

“He’ll be back.”

Chuck huffed. “How do you know?”

“Because I’ve been in his head. I know him.”

Chuck frowned. “I know that tone, that’s your bullshit tone.” He sat up. “Tell me the truth Mako.”

She held his gaze. He didn’t flinch, didn’t pressure her. The raw emotion on his face was new. Mako wasn’t used to seeing Chuck like this without a Kaiju in front of him.

“He’s in Alaska. I put two people on him the second he left the Dome. If he doesn’t come back in a week, they’re under orders to drag him back.”

“He’ll hate you for it.”

Mako shrugged. “But I’ll know he’s safe, especially from himself. Besides, I plan to let you have the first punch.”

Chuck grinned and scratched absently at the joint between his prosthetic and his hip. “Good, I’ll hold him down for ya on the second one.”

“Not necessary. One punch will do. He owes it to you.”

He smiled into her lap as she carded fingers through his mostly regrown hair.

“Your drift partner is an asshole.” He finally whispered.

“I know.”


	4. I Thought We Meant Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are feelings of a romantic nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, smut...ish. 
> 
> Romantic feelings. 
> 
> _Angsty feelings_

Raleigh panted heavily as Chuck snapped his hips into him, hand wrapped around his cock. He let go of the sheets to rake his nails down Chuck’s back. The younger man moaned at the painful contact and faltered in his thrusts. Using the distraction, Raleigh flipped them over, shoving Chuck hard against the mattress.

“That the best you got?” He taunted. Chuck snarled and lined up to drive into him again. Raleigh stopped him from flipping them again, tightening his thighs around Chuck’s hips and pinning his hands. “Come on. You’re supposed to be the _best.”_

The world would change, one way or another, tomorrow. Raleigh knew he probably needed the ability to walk to the Jaeger Bay, let alone pilot Gipsy to the Breach. But the noises Chuck made underneath him and the way he angled his hips to drill Raleigh’s prostate made him forget all about the end of the world.

Afterwards, as they both lay gasping for air, Chuck planted a messy, painful kiss on Raleigh’s lips. Still reeling from three consecutive orgasms in under two hours, Raleigh barely returned it before passing out. When he woke up, Chuck was stepping into his boots, hair wet from Raleigh’s shower.

“Leaving so soon?” Raleigh teased.

Chuck nearly fell over as he whipped his head around. “Yeah, Mako dropped by. We deploy in four hours.”

Raleigh pulled himself up, wincing at the thought of Mako catching Chuck in his room and the stretch of his muscles.

“Four hours til the end of the world as we know it.” He muttered, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“You’re right on that one, mate.”

Chuck hesitated on his way out, glancing over his shoulder at Raleigh. Seeing an awkward moment coming on, Raleigh hopped off his bed and kissed Chuck one last time. “See ya out there. I’ll have your back.”

He ran a hand through Chuck’s hair and ushered him out the door. Twenty minutes and a shower later, he met Mako in the prep room to suit up. She shot him an amused look and he rolled his eyes. “Save it. You’ll see it all soon anyways.”

She laughed. Raleigh joined her, knowing it was probably the last time either of them would ever laugh. They finished suiting up in silence and made their way down to the Jaeger Bay to find out who was piloting Striker. As Stacker geared up for his speech, Raleigh was surprised to find Chuck at his side. He was even more surprised a second later. As Stacker proclaimed to one and all they were “Cancelling the Apocalypse,” two hands grasped him tightly.

Mako’s smaller one wrapped firmly around his arm and he could feel the fear coursing through her. But the true surprise came as Chuck hooked his fingers through Raleigh’s and squeezed them. By the time Raleigh turned around, the big ginger asshole was already following his father towards the prep room.

Eighteen hours later, the Breach was closed. Stacker and Chuck were both dead and Raleigh was laid up in medical. The docs had him on the good stuff, prepping him for a battery of MRIs and CAT scans. Mako was in the next bed, oxygen mask on and glaring at Raleigh every time he tried to pull out the IV pumping anti-radiation meds into him. Suddenly, there was shouting in the halls. Every nurse and doctor within fifty feet went running. Mako hauled herself out of the bed and wheeled her own IV to the door.

“Holy shit,” She muttered. Raleigh sat up at the words and tone. Yancy used to say it the exact same way. Before he could ask, she turned on him. “It’s Chuck. _He’s alive.”_

Six months later with ten surgeries between them, Raleigh and Chuck were both allowed to leave the med bay permanently so long as they both took their meds and stayed out of the Kwoon.

The two men were forced into close quarters in the long months of Raleigh’s multiple brain surgeries and Chuck’s skin grafts and bone settings. They spent most of the time arguing, but they also banded together to keep each other sane. A tentative friendship formed and they never spoke of how they spent the hours before Pitfall. Never spoke of it until their first real fight after the cancelled apocalypse.

Raleigh could admit he fell back into the “Becket Brothers” routine of flirting with everything that moved easier than he thought. but when Mako followed him down the same rabbit hole, albeit in a quieter and more sarcastic fashion, he couldn’t and wouldn’t back down. The two of them charmed every reporter angling for a quote or some time between the sheets, without giving it to any of them.

Chuck, true to form, ran his mouth and raged about everything he could think of. The three of them were media darlings within a week of the first press conferences and galas. Chuck, though, returned to his pre-Pitfall behavior with Raleigh. Every bit of the connection they built in medical shattered with a snapped “has-been,” tossed Raleigh’s way.

“The fuck is your problem?” Raleigh finally cornered Chuck in the latest hotel lobby. “I thought we were past all this shit?”

“What are you on about, mate?”

“Your fuckin attitude problem! What did I do to piss you off?”

Chuck glowered at him. He opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by the sound of their adoring public. They both scrambled down the hall towards the elevators. Stopping on three separate floors, and running up two flights of stairs, they eventually made it to the penthouse suite.

Once inside, they broke down laughing, slumping against the walls and each other. Raleigh enjoyed the contact for a moment until Chuck suddenly wrenched himself away.

“We gonna finish this?” He snapped. The complete one-eighty threw Raleigh for a moment.

“Yeah,” He muttered and made his way to the couch. Chuck took a seat across from him, the light caught the heavy scarring on his neck and lower jaw. Raleigh frowned, remembering the failed skin grafts there and the pain they caused. “Spit it out then.”

Chuck looked away sharply, clenching his fists. “You’re bloody gagging for it, ya know that?”

“Translation?” Raleigh snapped.

“You came out of medical ready to fuck anything that moved, mate.”

“What?”

“I’ve spent the last month watching you flirt with every person who crossed your path.”

_“That’s_ what you’re pissed at me about? I thought we were friends.”

“And I thought we meant something!” Chuck shouted back. He immediately blanched and fled the room. Raleigh stayed frozen for several long minutes, processing what he heard. Everything in him screamed to run, he just couldn’t decide which direction yet.

For six months they ignored the frankly spectacular “end of the world” sex. Six months of spending actual time with each other and learning they had a lot in common. Months of leaning on each other every time the doctors and their drift partners left the room and there wasn’t a need to hide their pain.

“Fuck.” Raleigh whispered. He leapt out of his chair and followed Chuck. They collided a second later as the younger man turned the corner. Chuck kept Raleigh from falling and stared at him.

“You’re still here.”

“And you’re a goddamned idiot.” Raleigh countered.

Chuck snarled and shoved him into the wall. “Say it again, ya bastard.”

“You’re an idiot.” Raleigh caught the punch easily and proved he could still take Chuck in a fight.

Once the growling Australian was pinned to the floor, Raleigh leaned down and grabbed his chin. “You want me. Not just as a quick fuck. You actually want to have a relationship with me.”

Squirming uselessly, Chuck ignored him until Raleigh pulled both arms above his head and forced him to pay attention. He still didn’t answer, not until he caught Raleigh licking his lips. “Ah, fuck. _Yes_ , okay? I fancy you. Now let me up.”

Raleigh obliged, hauling the other man up and taking a step back. “Why me?”

“I don’t know,” Chuck admitted. “I knew what that fuck was. Coulda gone to anyone, but I figured if I was gonna die then I wanted to see you gagging for it.”

“Yeah, same reason I agreed.”

“So, what now?” Chuck frowned.

Raleigh studied him for a moment, then sighed. “I don’t know. We’re friends Chuck and I haven’t had many of those. But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Cause I’m your friend.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m a big boy, ya know.” Raleigh smirked. “Oh shut it. Ya knew what I meant. Just, if friends is all we are, I can live with that.”

“You sure?”

“No, but we saved the world, mate. If this is the most stressful part of my life from now on, well, I’ll be happier than a bogan robbing a bottlo.”

Raleigh laughed, a real laugh, and Chuck felt his heart sink. _Friends._ He forced a smile and dragged the stupid seppo off for a drink. _Friends._


	5. Why Don't You Care?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Less focus on the boys in this one. More on the Hansens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I....apologize? Yeah, I'm sorry in advance. Mostly.

“Chuck.”

“What?” He snapped. Herc raised an eyebrow and decided to wait his son out. Once the boy, because that’s what he’d always be to Herc, sighed and set aside the bit of salvage in his hands, Herc tossed him a small package.

One glance at the return address and Chuck dropped it, unopened, in a bit box of hydraulic tubing pulled from Cherno’s guts. Herc frowned at the little box, then his son.   
“You aren’t gonna open it?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Chuck ignored him, reaching inside a piece of leg section to find more undamaged tubing.   
Herc watched him. A year ago, Chuck’s behavior would’ve started a full blown fight between them. the end of the world changed that. Finally, Chuck learned to keep his mouth shut and Herc learned not to push his son further than he was willing to go. Holding in a sigh, he grabbed a spanner and got to work loosening bolts on the other side of the leg section.

“Thank you,” Chuck whispered a half hour later. “For bringing me the box.”

“No problem, mate.”

They lapsed into silence again. Herc watched his son out of the corner of his eye as they worked. Anyone who hadn’t been in his head would see Chuck hard at work, but Herc knew better. His son was coiling tighter and tighter, ready to explode. He hoped he could defuse the situation first, if he could figure out what was wrong.

“Hansens!” Tendo called out above them. “I’ve got people waiting to see your pretty faces.”  
Herc swore and dropped his tools. He paused to wipe some of the grease from his hands and pointedly looked away as Chuck slipped the box into his jacket pocket.

Up in LOCCENT, Herc groaned to see the new UN council waiting for him. They loved impromptu meetings. He looked around to see who called Chuck and caught sight of Tendo passing him off to a stern Mako. Suddenly, the UN bastards were not nearly as annoying. Chuck pulled him out with an “emergency” two hours later, a haunted look on his face. Herc followed him out happily.

“Thanks, mate. Any longer I’d really start going gray.”

“No problem.”

“So, what did Mako want?” Chuck stopped walking and frowned at him. “What? I have eyes. And she didn’t look all that happy with you.”

Chuck’s frown deepened and he scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s nothing.”

“You were always a shit liar, Chuck.”

“Yeah, well, lying to you is like lying to a cop.”

“Your mum used to say the same thing.”

They both winced, but Chuck clenched his jaw and whispered, “I know.”

“So,” Herc changed the subject. “What did Miss Mori want?”

“To shout at me.”

Herc nodded, encouraging Chuck to continue. The little box appeared in Chuck’s hands. “Anything to do with that?”

“Why do you care, old man?”

“You really wanna start that shit?”

Chuck clenched his jaw and looked away. “No, not particularly.”

“So why is it you got shouted at? And why don’t you care what’s in that box?”

“Box is from Raleigh.”

“Figured that out myself, thanks.”

Nodding, Chuck tossed it to his father and slumped against the far wall. “You sent him and Mako to Sydney.”

“So what’s this then? You leave behind evidence of your little crush in your bunk?” Herc smiled.

“No.” Chuck didn’t rise to the bait. “No, Raleigh called me two days ago. He and Sasha found her.”

Herc froze. “They found who?”

“They got permission to cross into the exclusion zone and they found the house. She was inside. I, I didn’t really listen after that. I shouted a lot and hung up.”

“Mako called to tell you off.” Herc said staring at the box in his shaking hands. He now had an idea what was inside.

“Yeah, and to tell me Sasha took Aleksis back in today. They brought her out. She wants to know where we want her buried. I should’ve told you, dad. I’m sorry.”

Herc pulled the box open and shook the rings into his hand. He collapsed to the floor. Chuck caught him before his head hit the concrete and Herc grabbed him. “They found her. They found her. They found her.”

He kept muttering as Chuck flagged down a passing J-Tech and got his father into medical. Herc didn’t stop until the doctors sedated him. Even in sleep, he wouldn’t let go of Chuck’s hand, the rings clasped tightly between them. Max whined until Chuck managed to wrangle him up onto the bed. The dog snuggled up to Herc and whimpered. Chuck lay his head down and sobbed into the sheets.

“Chuck,” Someone whispered in his ear. “Wake up, babe.”

Rolling his stiff neck, Chuck turned to find Raleigh staring down at him. “Ray?”

“Yeah, babe. Came as soon as I heard.” He ran a gentle hand through Chuck’s hair, then hefted Max back up onto the bed. “Took his highness out for a walk before I woke you. What did the docs say?”

Herc shifted, his fingers falling from the loose grip he still had on Chuck. Both men watched the sleeping man for a moment, afraid they woke him. When he didn’t move again, Chuck took the opportunity to stand up. He set his mother’s rings next to Herc’s bed. Max watched him before tucking his head against Herc’s hand and closing his eyes.

“Come on. You need to eat.” Raleigh pulled him away gently as Chuck hesitated. “Max will keep an eye on him.”

Raleigh led Chuck towards the cafeteria, glaring at anyone who even thought about pausing to talk to them. He shoved Chuck down onto a seat and jogged towards the line to gratefully accept two trays full of food from one of the cooks. He started to thank the man, but backed off at the glare he got. Smiling instead, he hustled back to Chuck.

“Here ya go, all your favorites.”

Chuck didn’t respond, mechanically digging into his food. It was a skill all PPDC personnel had. No matter the emotional turmoil, physical pain, or exhaustion, no one skipped meals.   
Those who skipped meals got themselves or someone else killed. So, Raleigh watched Chuck devour his food and let the other man come back to himself.

“Ray,” Chuck whispered. Raleigh looked up from his potatoes. “You think he’ll die?”

“Herc? Because of this?” He stopped to really take in the panic on Chuck’s face. Raleigh knew what it was to be an orphan. But even through the worst of the K-War, Chuck still had his father. “No, Chuck. He’ll be fine.”

Chuck nodded, reassured, and took another bite of food. “The docs say he’ll be out in a couple days. They told him not to travel, but he won’t leave her there.”

“I know.”

“You’re gonna help me right?”

Raleigh smiled and reached across the table. “Of course I am.”

Chuck smiled back.

Three days later, Herc shrugged both of them off as they tried to slow his descent out of the jumphawk. It would take more than a heart attack to stop him getting here. More than his son and Raleigh Becket to slow him down.

“Oi, old man, stop for five seconds or we get Mako.” Chuck called as Herc took a step across the tarmac.

He came to a dead stop. Turning back to face his boys, he barely managed to catch the cane Chuck tossed at him. He nearly threw it back until both Chuck and Raleigh crossed their arms. They both glared at him until he set the cane on the ground.

“Marshal.” Aleksis Kaidonovsky’s deep voice made Herc twitch. “We have jeep waiting.”

The stricken look on Chuck’s face made Herc take a half step forward. Raleigh got to him first, pulling Chuck into his side. Mako and Sasha suddenly flanked Herc as he left his son in capable hands.

Herc allowed the two women to lead him to the jeep and grudgingly accepted their help getting out as they arrived at the cemetery half an hour later. His dress blues suddenly chafed more than ever and he faltered as the doors opened. Mako grasped his free hand and he leaned on her as they stepped inside.

“Marshal Hansen,” A reedy man in an ill-fitting suit greeted. Herc couldn’t remember his name, but not much changed about the man since Angie’s parents died twenty years earlier. “So good to see you, sir.”

Herc barely concealed a snarl and Mako stepped between them. Moments later he was looking at the door to the preparation area. Chuck stood next to him, the others held back. He caught his son glancing to Raleigh and nearly told the seppo to join them. instead he stood up straight and pushed the door open. Chuck followed him through and they both froze at the sight before them.

Angela Hansen died just inside the front door of her home as she sought shelter from the impending nuclear drop and Scissure’s destruction. After the government dragged the Kaiju’s corpse away, they stopped cleanup and closed the irradiated sections of Sydney down. Thousands never retrieved their loved ones’ bodies.

Fifteen years in the exclusion zone, buried under half a ton of rubble mummified Angela Hansen’s body. Her hair still shone a vibrant red in the harsh fluorescent lighting. Chuck let out a sob and Herc instantly pulled his son into a hug.

“She’s really gone.” Chuck sobbed into his father’s shoulder. “She’s really gone.”

“I know son, I know.”


	6. Tell Me How to Make It Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one escapes war without scars. No one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PTSD is a bitch. Please get help.

Chuck barely managed to roll out of the way as Raleigh let out a shout and threw his arm out. He rolled over the flailing man and hopped off the bed. Nightmares were not unusual to either of them.

“Yancy!” Raleigh called out suddenly. “Yancy!”

He shot up and Chuck had to press him back down as he nearly fell out of the bed. Raleigh reacted to Chuck’s hands on him and rolled them until he had Chuck pinned, and not the fun way from a few hours earlier.

“Ray, it’s a dream.” Chuck pleaded with the half-crazed man above him. he managed to wriggle a hand free and gently wrapped it around the back of Raleigh’s neck. The other man instantly dropped onto him, sobbing. Chuck ran his hands down Raleigh’s back and twisted their legs together. They lay quietly, Raleigh still crying into Chuck’s shoulder as he whispered the names of his dead family, the names of all his friends who died while he chased a barely-there existence on the wall.

Chuck waited for him to stop shaking before he tilted his head to look down at Raleigh. “You okay, love?”

“No.”

“Tell me how to make it better.”

Raleigh raised his head and looked at the unusually quiet man underneath him. “You can’t”

“Are you—”

“I’m sure. They aren’t nearly as bad as before. It’s been seven years, Chuck. I promise they’re getting better.”

“You’re lying.” Chuck rolled them until they were both on their sides. “I always know when you’re lying.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like you don’t get them too.”

Chuck huffed and pulled Raleigh close. Normally a naked Raleigh was fun, but not tonight. 

“Go to sleep.”

“Won’t.”

“I know, me either.”


	7. Please, Don't Leave Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two words: Jazmine Becket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which things don't go as hoped.

Raleigh stared.

Chuck stared.

Jazmine Becket glared back at both men. Ten years on her own hardened the little girl Raleigh remembered into a tough woman. Tattoos ran up her arms and neck, showcasing her rank in Hannibal Chau’s organization. The lean muscle of her arms and callouses on her hands spoke to strength and familiarity with a weapon. Her long blonde hair was gone, cropped close and dyed to match Gipsy Danger’s signature blue, red, and gold. It was the only concession she made to remember her brothers.

None of her appearance made any difference to Raleigh. The bit of his baby sister that broke him was her eyes. The soft blues, the same eyes she shared with Yancy and himself, were cold.

“What do you want?”

Chuck bristled at the woman’s tone. Raleigh laid a hand on his arm and took a hopeful step towards his sister.

“Jazz,” He started.

“Not my name anymore, Raleigh.”

He blinked. “Okay, what is?”

“JB”

“JB then. I’ve been looking for you a long time, kid.”

“Not hard enough.”

Raleigh’s hopeful smile faltered and Chuck had enough. “Oi, you listen here. your brother spent the last 10 years thinking you were dead and looking for you anyway. Show a little respect, yeah?”

Jazmine ignored him. “What do you want, Raleigh?”

“Nothing, I swear. I just had to see you. I had to know you were okay.”

“Well, you saw me. I’m good.” She stood up and headed for the door, her bodyguards following. “See you in the next decade, Raleigh.”

“Jazz! Sorry, sorry, JB, _please.”_ Raleigh begged. “Please don’t leave me.”

Chuck saw the decision before Raleigh did. Jazmine looked back at her brother once and headed for the door. As it shut behind her, Raleigh collapsed against Chuck, sobbing.


	8. Alcohol Isn't Going to Solve Your Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is self-explanatory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, PTSD is a bitch. If you think you may have it, please get help. I've watched people suffer for years with it and there's no reason for it when you can get help.

Raleigh shuffled, half asleep, across the walkway in the Jaeger Bay. Once he reached a secluded corner, he plopped down and rested his head against the railing, dangling his legs. He watched the late night crew below him as they worked on salvaging remains from Crimson and Cherno. There wasn’t enough left of Gipsy or Striker to warrant a full salvage operation. So the only Jaegers left were hauled out of Victoria Harbour.

Movement caught his eye and he turned to find a swaying Chuck, meandering towards him. Ten months since Pitfall hadn’t made their relationship any better. No matter what Raleigh, or anyone else tried, Chuck refused to let the other Ranger in.

“Ray,” Chuck slurred. Raleigh noticed the bottle peeking out of Chuck’s trouser pocket. “What’re you doin’ in my spot?”

“What are you doing wandering the Jaeger Bay drunk at 3AM?”

Chuck paused, obviously thinking through Raleigh’s words. He had to be hammered. Normally Chuck proved how much smarter he was with a snappy comeback. Not tonight. When he couldn’t figure out a response, he pulled out his bottle of liquor and took a seat next to Raleigh. He drank slowly, but steadily, until Raleigh couldn’t take it anymore.

“Alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.”

“Speaking from experience there, mate?”

“Yes.”

They lapsed into silence. Surprisingly, Chuck stopped drinking and stared down at the work crew below. The bottle appeared in front of Raleigh’s face and he barely caught it as Chuck let go.

“How did you stop?” Chuck asked.

“Stop what?”

“The feelings,” Chuck muttered. _“Their_ feelings.”

Raleigh sighed and set the bottle aside. “I didn’t.”

Chuck nodded. “Thought so, you wouldn’t be out here otherwise. Any advice?”

“Stop drinking. Find someone to talk to.”

“Really?” Chuck glared at him. “Who’d you find on the fuckin Wall to talk to, mate?”

“There was this little guy who followed me around. He knew who I was and decided to keep me company. After a few weeks I couldn’t get rid of him. It was either talk or listen to him run his mouth.”

Chuck pondered Raleigh’s words. “It helped.”

“Not at first,” Raleigh admitted. “But then it was more about having someone listen.”

“Could I,” Chuck started. “Could I talk to you?”

Raleigh looked at him. “Me? Why?”

“You’ve done this before.”

“And you’re drunk.”

“Yeah, what’s your point, mate?”

Raleigh rolled his eyes. “Tell me the truth, Chuck. Why me?”

“Cause I trust you not to let me down again.”

Surprised, Raleigh turned sharply on the other man. But Chuck was already up and moving. “See you tomorrow, Rah-Leigh.”


	9. Please, Don't Lie to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one dies, but dying is always an option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made myself cry with this one.

Chuck knew something was wrong when his father hugged him. Herc never hugged him. Not since the early days after Scissure, when he desperately missed his mother. Before Pitfall, before Stacker gave him the lecture of his life before ejecting him and setting off the bomb, his father hugging him would’ve started a fight. Now, Chuck just awkwardly patted his father on the back.

“What’s this about then?”

“Thought I lost you.”

“Well,” Chuck huffed. “You didn’t.”

Herc shook his head and hugged his son again until he was pushed aside by an ecstatic Mako. Raleigh followed his drift partner in and even he pulled the grumpy younger Hansen in for a brief hug. Chuck would be okay.

\-----

It started with the headaches. The docs put him on medication, citing his two solo drifts and the trauma to his brain from both. Not to mention whatever interdimensional travel did to him. Mako got headaches too, so the official line was “wait and see.”

Pretty soon, though, Chuck had Raleigh into the med-bay practically every other day as other symptoms appeared. At first, the other pilot’s concern was confusing. They were figuring out a tentative friendship, but not close enough to warrant hours at a hospital bedside.

But Chuck _stayed_ for every MRI and CAT scan. Raleigh would wake after another round of tests to see the other Ranger slumped over in the room’s recliner. Their arguments, already legendary, started drawing crowds calling them cute instead of rushing in to pull them apart.

After one of those arguments, this time in Raleigh’s bunk because he was temporarily discharged, Raleigh was surprised by Chuck stopping mid-sentence to kiss him. he was even more surprised to find himself kissing back.

Their visits to the med-bay were still frequent as Raleigh’s symptoms came and went, but they were together for it all. For the first time since Yancy died, Raleigh didn’t feel alone. He had Mako to fill the void in his soul. Tendo reminded him how to laugh. Herc was simply there. And Chuck, he was _all of those things._

Symptoms came and went. Chuck _stayed._

The morning Raleigh woke with a screaming headache and a nosebleed two years after Pitfall scared him. He shot up and scrambled to call the nurses in. They wheeled him out a few moments later for an MRI. Afterwards, he returned to the room to find Chuck glaring.

“You didn’t wake me up.”

“I know, sorry. They rushed me out before I could really think.”

The other man softened and beckoned Raleigh closer. Once in arm’s reach, Chuck pulled him in for a soft kiss. Raleigh sagged against Chuck, a hand reaching to cup his jaw, and moaned. He never wanted to lose this.

“What’s the diagnosis?” Chuck asked as they pulled apart.

“Stress. Triggered a bleed.”

Chuck frowned. “Another aneurysm?”

“Yeah, they go in tomorrow.”

“And you just got your hair back.”

Raleigh ran a hand through his short-cropped hair and grinned sheepishly. “I know.”

“You’ve got to relax.” Chuck’s tone turned serious. “You know you’re a ticking bomb.”

“Yeah. I promise to take it easy.”

“Please. Don’t lie to me.” Chuck snapped. “I can’t do this if—”

He trailed off and Raleigh pushed him onto the hospital bed. He climbed on a moment later and curled around Chuck. Every time he did this, a bit more of the bulky muscles he knew better than his own body had wasted away.

The cancer showed itself six months earlier. Chuck spent enough time listening to Raleigh’s multiple diagnoses to know _exactly_ what his headaches might mean. For once, it was Raleigh following Chuck to medical and they’d barely left since.

The aggressive chemo ate at Chuck, but Raleigh stayed with him. He stayed. Herc came by every day and hugged his son. Chuck always hugged back. And Raleigh _stayed._


	10. Did You Do This to Yourself?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you die with someone else in your head, sometimes they carry you out with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be aware, there are mentions of past self-harm in this chapter.

“Did you do this to yourself?”

Raleigh’s head snapped up to find Chuck standing in his bathroom door. The other man stared at the faint lines hidden by the more pronounced drive suit scarring. He’d come in after sparring in the Kwoon to use Raleigh’s shower as the his never got hot enough.

“Um,” He frowned down at his left arm. “Yeah, I did.”

_“Why?”_ Chuck demanded, crowding Raleigh against the bathroom counter.

The look on Chuck’s face spoke volumes. Raleigh cleared his throat and turned away from the other man. Turned away from the extensive scarring spread across Chuck’s own chest. A conspicuous reminder of his bare escape from Striker’s detonation.

“Yancy.” Chuck flinched and pulled out of Raleigh’s space. Any mention of the elder Becket sent Chuck running. Raleigh frowned as The Asshole fled into Raleigh’s room. “Hey.”

Chuck stopped. His shoulders heaved as he sucked in deep breaths and Raleigh regretted his tone. “Sorry, just, what’s the deal?”

A shudder wracked Chuck and his knees buckled. Raleigh caught him and pushed Chuck onto the edge of his bed.

“I thought,” Chuck’s head dropped into his hands and Raleigh laid a hand onto his shoulder. He wasn’t surprised at the roughness of the scars, but he still held back a flinch. Chuck didn’t notice as he shook.

“Your brother was still connected when he died? Still drifting, yeah?” Chuck lifted his head. “And you felt him.”

Raleigh nodded, then cleared his throat. Chuck swallowed hard and looked down at his hands.

“What is it, Chuck?”

“I can feel him.” The Australian whispered. “Under my skin. Bastard didn’t pull us out of the drift before he ejected me.”

“And now,” Raleigh stared down at his left arm where he could still see how he tried to claw Yancy out of him. Where he tried to bring his brother back into the real world. “And now you don’t know how to stop your skin crawling with sensations that aren’t yours.”

Chuck nodded. They lapsed into silence, for once not an uncomfortable one. Months in the med-bay and rehab together, forced them to get along, but they still weren’t exactly friends.

“How did you make it stop?” Chuck finally asked, eyes firmly planted on a picture of both Beckets.

“I didn’t.”


End file.
